Last night, I went an arts festival event with an unlikely group of people. Simply put, it was unplanned and impromptu and the people I went with (save for one) were acquaintances.
It's in social situations like these that I am really confronted with who I really am. Not only do all my insecurities start taunting me, I make unecessary critical statements about people without first looking at myself in the mirror.
Comment #1 was made between a girl friend and I. I said something to the effect of how when girls see each other, they see all the wonderful stuff on the inside, but when guys look at girls, all they see is what's on the outside. Two guy acquaintances walking in front heard me make that statement and turned around, giving us a "look" - I can't quite remember it so I can't quite describe it.
When I got home, I had a chance to think about it, and felt convicted to say sorry to God because while I find it annoying that guys are attracted to physical appearances (more than girls are anyways), I don't think they can help it - God wired their brains that way, and I'm sure He had a good plan for it. Who am I to be judgemental about it?
Comment #2 was made again to the same girl friend about a rather good looking acquatintance. While he IS nice to look at, I realised that I am prejudiced against some good looking people whom I have stereotyped as that kind of person. Truth be told, I know close to nothing about the kind of person he really is!
Well if you thought that this blog post was about me being judgemental/critical, there's still more.
The shock came as I was praying over it. The Holy Spirit made it plain for me to see that all these negative criticisms were my subconscious way of dealing (in a very bad way may I add) with my own insecurities.
Warped eh?
The little thing that Paul said in Romans 7 describes me so well :
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do... I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."
4 comments:
but knowing all tt you do and wish to do, you still continue to do the things you do just because they are the things you do and would do given the circumstance. unless u have a mind like paul who can understand and distinguish all the do do's, then we'll all progress. actually, i don't agree with what i just said, but i just wanted to have fun with the do's. it like how it sounds do do (doo doo)and so this is what i do. i humour myself. hehh
all i wanted to say was I MISS YOU LISA YEEE! hope you're doing good and continue to do the things you do do just bcos the things you do make you YOU! : )
and it's HOT like that! : )
(i had to put this in a separate post just because it would have ruined the rhyming of the do do's. : ))
i love that verse. i often say it to myself :)
and don't worry sa, we all be judgmental in one way or another. but of course that don't mean we take it as the norm. must always strive :)
it's MY verse...hahhahaa because i was made to read it twice (on 2 VERY separate occassions) in cell and every time i read, batty laughs. hahaha.
anyways i didn't comment to talk abt that. best fren...i agree with u! and thank you for reminding me.
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